Ashes Read online

  I thought Wesley would agree with me and expected to be released. Instead, I was crushed against his body. “I know but we aren’t strong enough to take them on head-to-head. It means more to me than you can even comprehend that you care enough to strike back for my sake. But to do so is suicide and I didn’t need Cheval to tell me that. We are in over our heads and the only thing I can concentrate on now is working with him to keep you safe.”

  My fury quickly dissipated as Wesley’s words sunk into my subconscious. I let him just hold me for a bit, cocooned in the warmth of his embrace. In his arms I could lie to myself, convincing myself that he was still mine and I was still his. But the reality was we’d both been with other people and while he didn’t love Abigail, I couldn’t say the same about Olivier. My feelings were so all over the map and complex. When Wesley said my name I looked up into his eyes. We were nose to nose. “Working with Olivier how?” I whispered.

  Wesley didn’t answer but those big, brown eyes searched deeply into mine. The next time I heard my name, it was husky as his tongue savored its taste. By this point I was lost, my body responding to the longing his expressed without my mind even saying to. As his nose slid along mine, his labored breaths caressed my cheek. Our hearts counted a synchronized beat, but it was slower than I would have thought. Just before contact, his lips parted and I closed my eyes.

  “CHARLOTTE!” I jerked my head to the sound of my name as Paige squealed it. Paige Lochs, the third musketeer to Wesley and me. “Olivier here says you know what she looks … like.” She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Wesley. Apparently, Olivier hadn’t clued her in. “Oh! My! God! Wesley Breaux, what the hell are you doing here?!”

  Wesley’s hands cupped my face as he reclaimed my attention. “Still impeccably awful,” he murmured as he leaned his forehead against mine. Despite everything that had happened and all my disparate emotions, I giggled which brought a true smile to his face. The moment made me forget Paige until I heard another man clear his throat.

  “Breaux, I think it’s best if neither of us acts the role of doting lover when we all have to be together.” Reluctantly Wesley agreed as his arms fell away from me and he stepped aside. The blush encompassed my entire body when I saw Paige’s and Tristan’s flummoxed stares as they flanked Olivier’s penetrating one. Wesley was still standing slightly in front of me, like he was ready to act as a human barrier if need be.

  I locked eyes with Olivier. “Charissimus, non est quod existi…” Dearest, it’s not what you thi… While I spoke, I moved out from behind Wesley and put myself between, yet away from, Olivier and him.

  Olivier cut me off. “Nihil mihi debes, carissime. Si vis est, intelligo.” You owe me nothing, my dear. If he’s what you want, I understand. He was saying the words he thought I wanted to hear. From the bulge in his pockets I knew Olivier’s hands were balled into fists. His voice was dispassionate as if he was trying to distance himself from his emotions. He probably was. But his eyes spoke of the true grief he felt at the idea of losing me.

  I never before understood people who’d said they were in love with two different people. But I did now. Glancing back over my shoulder at Wesley, I saw that his posture matched Olivier’s. I wondered if they even realized how they mirrored the other. “Nescio quid lubet. Scio amet audit, et te amo.” I don’t know what I want. I know it’s hard to hear, but I love you both.

  Olivier nodded slowly. “Puteus postea loqui? Iustus ego et tu?” We’ll talk later? Just you and I?

  “Maxime.” Yes.

  When Olivier didn’t answer me the rest of our party assumed our private conversation was done. Now positioned where I could see everyone, Tristan, Paige, and Wesley all opened their mouths but Wesley was the first to speak. “I thought we weren’t going to act the role of doting lover? You think having a completely private conversation in front of me doesn’t flaunt your connection to her?” His voice was hard but his body was broken. I knew why. He’d heard me say ‘te amo,’ which means I love you. He’d asked me to teach it to him when we first started dating. Not being able to speak the rest of the language, he thought I’d made my choice.

  Before I could reassure Wesley though, Olivier responded to his charge. “It is my understanding you had just as much opportunity to learn the language as she did. You chose not to. Sorry if my fluency bothers you,” Olivier spat facetiously. “But given that she’s the one who started our conversation that way, I’m not going to change the way I talk with Charlotte to suit you. If you doubt your connection with her, then that’s your issue, not mine.”

  Whatever had been broken inside Wesley mended and he straightened to his full height. “Easy for you to say,” he retorted with a vicious laugh. “According to you, you get to take her home and play house. I, on the other hand, now have to willingly give my body over to the enemy or risk having my memories once again taken from me or our deaths!”

  So many things occurred to me in that moment. Tristan and Paige were watching the verbal clash as if it was a tennis match. With each challenge, Wesley and Olivier would take a step towards the other and I knew if they got close enough this would come to blows. Tristan didn’t seem at all confused with what he was witnessing, which struck me as odd. But the first thought I could articulate resulted from Wesley’s last statement. Stepping between Olivier and Wesley, I grabbed Wesley’s face to bring his eyes to mine. “What the hell do you mean?” spilled full of panic from my lips. The truth was in Wesley’s eyes but I didn’t want to believe it. I threw a harsh glare over my shoulder at Olivier. “What the hell does he mean?!”

  Under my scrutiny, Olivier cowered slightly. His tone reminded me of how I’d imagine you might talk to a child mid-temper tantrum. “It’s the only way to keep us all, to keep you, safe. If we alter our parts even a little bit, it’s game over.”

  What Olivier was suggesting made me sick. It made me hate him. The implication that now Wesley would go from being used as a pawn from the exiles’ side to ours was despicable. I wouldn’t stand for it. My life wasn’t worth him whoring himself out for its safety. “NO!” I petulantly exclaimed. They both said my name, but I returned my eyes to Wesley, repeating my disagreement. Tears were once again streaming down my face as I imagined him bedding Abigail every night for my sake. “I’ll not ask this of you.”

  With a smile that didn’t touch his eyes, Wesley’s fingers washed the tears from my face. “You didn’t, my love. But I am doing this. I’ve already come to terms with it. You are everything to me and while you may be with Cheval, it doesn’t change how much I love you.” His hands took mine. “I’m at the center of this mess and I’ll not take the coward’s way out which would put you in danger. This is how I have to love you now.”

  “By bedding another woman?” I retorted with disgust. He had to be out of his mind! “Please tell me this is a joke!” How could he even consider such a thing?

  “By doing what must be done to look out for your well-being,” Wesley countered.

  Desperate to keep Wesley from this I turned to Paige, my eyes pleading with her. She put her hands on her hips and came to my aid. “I agree with Charlotte, gentlemen. Wesley, after everything you’ve been through, everything Charlotte’s been through, we can’t ask you to do this too. It’ll change you too much. At least before it was a trick of the mind. Now? Well, you’re not going to be able to convincingly love Abigail. You’re still mad for Charlotte. If they find out, it’s your life on the line and just like Charlotte; I’m not willing to risk it.”

  “Olivier, why don’t we just kidnap Abigail?” Tristan suggested. “Should be easy to do since I’m sure Wesley can at least be around her, since he’s willing to do the other thing. He could bring her back here or even to his room, where we’re all waiting. Then we can wipe her mind of our presence while convincing her that going forward they’re still sleeping together. He’d have to share a room with her, kiss her from time to time, but at least he wouldn’t have to bed her.”

  All eyes turned on T
ristan. I remembered how he’d looked, not surprised, and that’s when I realized who he was. “It’s you!” I cried out. Now all the eyes in the room were on me, though Paige’s eyes were darting to Tristan from time to time nervously. I stepped away from Wesley and approached Tristan, dissecting him with an examining stare. Tristan St. Claire, Paige’s boyfriend, director of finance for the presidential campaign, and probably spy for Olivier! Paige inched away from him based off the look on my face. With narrowed eyes I studied his, looking for the telltale flames of what he might be. When I didn’t’ find any I turned my penetrating gaze to Olivier.

  “It’s him, isn’t it?” I stated calmly. Olivier was the only one who understood what was dawning in my mind. He nodded. “He’s not an exile?” Olivier silently shook his head. “Angel?”

  “Human,” Olivier answered.

  Olivier had chosen wisely. Tristan was close to the action and I could tell that before everything had happened with Abigail he’d had a true friendly affection for Wesley. “You’re the eyes and ears.”

  My assumption rocked Tristan and he staggered back. “Ah, sorry? I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Tristan hedged. But he did, the recognition was in his eyes. It explained why he’d known I was spooked in the stairwell at the Ritz. Why he didn’t seem to question when Paige admitted I was a muse. He’s the only one who’d be able to constantly have eyes on Wesley and be in on all the important decisions made by the campaign.

  Oliver’s deep voice settled the matter. “She knows, Tristan. I told you she was smart and that if you weren’t careful she’d figure it out. You thought it’d be Paige who caught you but I knew if it was going to be anyone, it’d be Charlotte.” Olivier practically sounded proud. But the person I was now most concerned about was Paige. She was looking at Tristan like she’d never met him before.

  “Exactly what are they talking about?” Paige questioned Tristan. Tristan quickly ran through his history with Olivier: they’d met years before, he’d caught Olivier in the act of wiping a person’s mind, Olivier confessed to what he was, and over time they’d developed a trust. When everything was going down with the exiles, Olivier had called in a favor. Tristan got his job on his own merits but his purpose was to watch Wesley. They’d become friends and well, we knew the rest. “So what about me? Was I just some kind of cover story then?” It had never occurred to me that Paige would think that. I surely didn’t. But by this point we’d all confessed to some form of lie or another.

  Stunned by her question, Tristan reached for her. “No, God no! Paige you were a happy accident, the sole benefit of my involvement in this whole crazy scheme.” She looked at him skeptically and I hoped they’d be able to work through this. Tristan opened his mouth to continue but was beat out by Olivier.

  “I hate to be the voice of reason right now, but Breaux you’ve been MIA for too long,” Olivier addressed Wesley. “You’ve got to get back to the convention.” Olivier hadn’t said much, I could tell he was in soldier mode even though I’d never actually seen it before. His presence was commanding and of all of us he was the makeshift ring leader.

  Wesley made to get his tux coat but I grabbed him. “Not until we decide how we are going to protect him, Olivier,” I demanded. “We are not just going to throw him to the wolves and hope for the best.”

  Paige also piped up. “So tell us your room, Wesley, and we’ll wait there for you to bring back Abigail.”

  Olivier shook his head and he only looked at me while he spoke. “It’s not that easy.” Tristan argued that he’d seen Olivier wipe a memory countless times. “While this is true it’s a little more complicated now. Firstly, I don’t know how to alter one which is what would be required to get her to think Breaux is still their instrument. Secondly, Charlotte made me swear to no more mind manipulations.” Damn it! Of course, that was going to come back to bite me!

  “Seriously? So she gives you permission. I don’t see the harm.” Paige flung out full of exasperation.

  My hand on Wesley’s arm clenched and he stepped up to me with worry wrought throughout his carriage. I answered his question before he could even ask. “The harm is if Olivier does it, I could die.”

  “Don’t be so damn dramatic, Charlotte,” Paige chastised me. “I’m sure the idea turns your stomach but this is war.” Paige was used to making these kinds of decisions, since she heads the New Orleans crime lab, and while she understood I was not, she didn’t comprehend I wasn’t exaggerating.

  As Olivier and I shook our heads, Wesley painfully whispered my name. He may not have understood how or why this was life or death for me, but he realized it was the truth. Olivier explained that because of what he is, and the way I’d required him to swear on my life, that breaking his word could kill me. Paige looked dumbfounded before she tore into me for doing something so stupid. Tristan took her in his arms as her emotions finally got the better of her and she started balling. “So now we are to choose between Wesley’s life and Charlotte’s?! What the hell were you thinking?”

  Finally finding his voice, Wesley bellowed, “It’s not a choice. I can survive what I have to do. I’ll not risk your life, Charlotte!” He took me in his arms, crushing me to him. Whispering to me, he tried to be soothing. “It’ll just be sex. It’ll mean nothing.” And that’s why Paige had been right. The choice was between our lives as Wesley would never be able to convince Abigail that he still saw her as me. I pushed him away and said as much. I couldn’t ask him to trade his life for mine. So Wesley turned to Olivier. “Take it away, Cheval. Put me back to how I was before you lifted the veil. If I can see Abigail as Charlotte, then I can continue on as I was. Tristan it’ll be up to you to rein in the crazy and that’ll include me. But I can’t endanger Charlotte. I won’t!”

  What Wesley was asking truly illustrated how much he loved me. Now the tears were flowing down Paige’s and my face like swollen rivers during a flood. I turned my wretched face to Olivier, begging him not to do this. Silently pleading with him to come up with another plan, come up with another way. All the while Paige was arguing with Wesley and demanding another alternative as well. Whatever Olivier was using to keep his emotions at bay to get through this ordeal broke.

  “Technice, peregrinus sum. Locutus est ad Abigail, non extraneus.” Technically, I said stranger. Abigail is no stranger. Olivier cautiously offered.

  As much as I despised Abigail this wasn’t an easy decision for me. The idea of anyone losing their own free will, becoming a puppet, even to “save the world,” just didn’t sit well. But looking at Wesley, hearing his willingness to go back through all of it again for my sake, it really wasn’t a choice. “Her. Olivier, do it to her.” My voice was steady and void of all the raging emotions coursing through me.

  The commotion in the room had died some when they heard Olivier speaking to me in Latin. But at my words all the sound was vacuumed out. Three sets of eyes fixed on him, and awaited with bated breath for an answer. “Done,” crossed Olivier’s lips with such authority as his visage set in determination. I knew Wesley would be safe and for the first time that evening relaxed.

  The rest of our group, however, exploded at Olivier’s acceptance of my order. “Cheval, no!” Wesley hollered. “You listen to me, wipe my mind. You have my consent so it’s not life threatening for Charlotte. It wasn’t before when you gave me your memories!”

  Paige cried out. “There’s got to be something else. Put them both into hiding. Tristan, you, and I can work the rest on our own.”

  “Maybe we need to table all of this,” Tristan offered rationally. “All of our emotions are heightened. All of our secrets were revealed this evening. This decision doesn’t have to be made now. Wesley, stage a fight with Abigail. Couples fight!”

  But Olivier and I knew, just like every time before, the only advantage we had was that no one suspected the humans of our newly formed quintet knew the truth. Wesley needed to get going as did Olivier and I if we were going to be lying in wait. Having given the order, I took
action to stop the quarrelling. “ENOUGH! The decision has been made. It’s our best option. Tristan, you take Paige back down to the convention. Neither of you needs to be involved in this. Celinda needs to see you there. If we’re all missing that’s bad news.” I turned to Wesley and demanded his spare room key.

  As Wesley fished it out of his wallet, Olivier stepped up to snatch it out of Wesley’s hand before he could give it to me. “I know what you’re thinking, carissime, and the answer is no.” Olivier intended his words to be the final say in the matter.

  Wesley was only behind for a second before he too realized I planned on accompanying them to wipe Abigail’s mind. It’s the only time I think I’ve ever heard them agree about anything. “Absolutely not, Charlotte. Banks tends to shadow us and if she even catches a hint of you, she will not hesitate to lash out.”

  Being the shortest of the three, I squared my shoulders, crossed my arms across my chest, and adjusted my line of sight to fix them both in it. “This is not up for discussion for two reasons. First, I’m the one who made this call so I’ll not stand back and distance myself from all the messy details it involves. Second, if for some unfathomable reason the universe doesn’t consider Abigail a stranger, I’d prefer to not die alone in this room! If that happens then wouldn’t it make more sense to have me there so that hopefully you can abort this operation, giving me a better chance at survival?”

  Chapter 2

  Back in the ballroom of the convention center, I was once again ensconced in Olivier’s embrace as we danced among the crowd. My men had reluctantly agreed my presence was now in fact desirable during the alteration of Abigail’s mind. We’d decided we all needed to make a reappearance in stages to deflect any suspicion. Wesley left first and I’d walked him to the door. Before crossing the threshold, he kissed my cheek. “You can still change your mind,” he whispered. As I leaned my face into his, I answered that I couldn’t. “Everything you see me do with her, know I’d rather do them with you.”